I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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