first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
