I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
