All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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