You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I am available for nakedness
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
