Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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