Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
