At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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