my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
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