she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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