Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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