I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
