the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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