Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
