The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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