You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
how does that bad decision feel?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
