My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize