I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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