If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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