what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
