i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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