i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
