I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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