so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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