You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
