I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
