Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
