I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
