Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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