Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
