I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
