There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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