She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
