You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
