Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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