once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
