so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
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You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
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I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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