He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
