how can u be prego again
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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