my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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