honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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