I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
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