Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
