I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
