lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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