I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize
