i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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