I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
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Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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