You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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