i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
