Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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