i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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