Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
