I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
