Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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