i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
