Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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